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Friday, October 14, 2011
DM&L Grant: Informs our Understanding (The SHAPE of THINGS to COME!)
I was actually thinking about this a lot yesterday during a decision to turn in a paper late. After a long morning with writer's block, I decided that turning in a quality paper was more important to me than turning it in on time.
Instead of heeding my instructor's rules, I decided what I want, when I want. What are the repercussions? Where is my sense of responsibility? What other outcomes should be questioned?
I hear you on that Michelle! I asked a lot of those questions while struggling with the Evil in Modern Thought project (before I had a collaboration to work within). The content had a life of its own, but I tried miserably to box it into particular forms and then when it wouldn't work, or when major delays I couldn't seem to control happened, I thought that that I was failing, but there were bigger things I couldn't have imagined at the time that were in store for the intentions that drove the work. I'm not sure what the answers are here though. I think that well thought out structures are always good (this was something we talked about and experienced today during our meetings) and that they are necessary to focus us - my favorite metaphor for this has been to think of structure relating to creativity like the banks hold a river, without it you are all over the place and you won't have a river anymore :-) Yet the integrity of the work must be taken very seriously and sometimes it refuses certain structures and deadlines that don't let it be what it wants to be. I guess we just have to be careful where the structures are coming from, and examine them clearly. I know that most of the structures I set for myself at first while developing the EMT work, were healthy and made sure that what wanted to be expressed was allowed to in the best way. But then some of the deadlines and structures that I set for myself following the capturing of the content with Susan Neiman, were most likely coming from ego drives to be successful by a certain point, to make the footage into something it was never meant to be (based on not so great advice), and also to not have to deal with the fact that I had been talking about a film to everyone for so long and it still hadn't materialized and on and on. Then there are the deadlines of course that the world sets for us, like Grant deadlines and papers being due and work etc. that can't be bent. I have also taken liberties with deadlines so that the work was better in the past with freelance writing and in college, and I'm still not sure if that was right or not, as when we agree to certain structures it is our responsibility to go along or not to participate - that's why we have to be so careful to pick where we place our loyalties. I can say confidently that I know that what you are doing is serving a much larger purpose than your Professor has in mind and that your instincts and talents are in service to something a bigger vision in the end, so the good work that you decided to do instead of taking the "I'm just going to please my Professor" route, will have it's own place and will make sense for what you will be doing in the near future!
"What I want, when I want"
ReplyDeleteI was actually thinking about this a lot yesterday during a decision to turn in a paper late. After a long morning with writer's block, I decided that turning in a quality paper was more important to me than turning it in on time.
Instead of heeding my instructor's rules, I decided what I want, when I want. What are the repercussions? Where is my sense of responsibility? What other outcomes should be questioned?
I hear you on that Michelle! I asked a lot of those questions while struggling with the Evil in Modern Thought project (before I had a collaboration to work within). The content had a life of its own, but I tried miserably to box it into particular forms and then when it wouldn't work, or when major delays I couldn't seem to control happened, I thought that that I was failing, but there were bigger things I couldn't have imagined at the time that were in store for the intentions that drove the work. I'm not sure what the answers are here though. I think that well thought out structures are always good (this was something we talked about and experienced today during our meetings) and that they are necessary to focus us - my favorite metaphor for this has been to think of structure relating to creativity like the banks hold a river, without it you are all over the place and you won't have a river anymore :-) Yet the integrity of the work must be taken very seriously and sometimes it refuses certain structures and deadlines that don't let it be what it wants to be. I guess we just have to be careful where the structures are coming from, and examine them clearly. I know that most of the structures I set for myself at first while developing the EMT work, were healthy and made sure that what wanted to be expressed was allowed to in the best way. But then some of the deadlines and structures that I set for myself following the capturing of the content with Susan Neiman, were most likely coming from ego drives to be successful by a certain point, to make the footage into something it was never meant to be (based on not so great advice), and also to not have to deal with the fact that I had been talking about a film to everyone for so long and it still hadn't materialized and on and on. Then there are the deadlines of course that the world sets for us, like Grant deadlines and papers being due and work etc. that can't be bent. I have also taken liberties with deadlines so that the work was better in the past with freelance writing and in college, and I'm still not sure if that was right or not, as when we agree to certain structures it is our responsibility to go along or not to participate - that's why we have to be so careful to pick where we place our loyalties. I can say confidently that I know that what you are doing is serving a much larger purpose than your Professor has in mind and that your instincts and talents are in service to something a bigger vision in the end, so the good work that you decided to do instead of taking the "I'm just going to please my Professor" route, will have it's own place and will make sense for what you will be doing in the near future!
ReplyDelete